Mario & Luigi - Brotherly Boundaries & Hero Complexes

Therapist: Okay, Luigi, you said you wanted to start today’s session. What’s on your mind?

Luigi: Yeah, uh… I feel like Mario gets all the attention. He’s “the face” of every adventure, every game, every cereal box. I barely get a solo title.

Mario: [smiling innocently] Well, I can't help that, can I?

Luigi: You could share the spotlight once in a while. You get parades. Statues. Theme parks.  You've even got your own tennis tournament. You know what I got? An old mansion full of ghosts [Luigi raises his arms and wiggles his fingers, mimicking a ghost].

Mario: [Mario swats at Luigi, annoyed] Stop that.  Those mansions were nice!  Do you have any idea how expensive real estate is in the Mushroom Kingdom?

Luigi: You get to hang out in castles.

Therapist: Let’s try focusing on how this imbalance makes you feel, Luigi—

Luigi: Small. Insignificant. Like I’m some kind of monkey that just follows you around.

Mario: [Mario looks around, worried] Shh!  I saw Diddy Kong in the waiting room.  What if he hears you?

Luigi: I don't care about Diddy Kong.

Mario: Yeah, Nobody does!  Up top! [Mario and Luigi both jump and high-five each other, before quietly sitting back down on the couch]

Therapist: Gentlemen, let's get back on topic.  Mario, can you see why Luigi thinks you're dismissive?

Mario: I guess… but I thought Luigi was happy with his role.  It's a lot of work being the face of the franchise.  [Mario smiles, smugly]

Luigi: Give me a break!  When's the last time you actually turned a wrench, or fixed a toilet?

Mario: [Turning away, arms folded, nose in the air] I can pay people to fix my toilet!

Luigi: You pay Toad to fix your toilet. 

Mario: He said he needed a job...

Therapist: Gentlemen, let’s keep this constructive.

Luigi: Fine. Construct this: If I disappeared tomorrow, you wouldn't even miss me.  

Mario: That’s not true. I’d notice right away. I’d be like, “Where’s-a Luigi?” And then I’d go look for you.

Luigi: Yeah, you'd look around for five minutes and then go hang out with Yoshi.

Therapist: Okay, we’re drifting into passive-aggression. Let’s talk boundaries—

Mario: Look, we're the Mario Brothers!  You can't just have one of us!  You need us both!

Luigi: Not on N64.

Mario: That’s-a debatable—

Therapist: We are very off-topic—

Luigi: Maybe if you let me wear the red hat for a little bit...

Mario: No!  It would confuse the audience.  They would think you were me.

Luigi: I'd need to put on fifty pounds for people to think I am you.

Therapist: [closing notebook] Okay, I’m going to be honest: I have no idea 

how to fix this.

Mario: What about a team-building retreat?

Luigi: Only if I’m Player One.

Mario: [Throws hands up in frustration] Oh come on!

Therapist: [sighs] I’m prescribing… separate vacations. Far, far apart. Mario, you get the swimming level.  Luigi, you get desert world.  I'll see you both next week.