Sonic & Tails – Fast Friends, Frayed Boundaries

Therapist: Welcome back, Sonic and Tails. Let’s talk about how you’re feeling in this partnership.

Tails: Honestly? I'm feeling left behind. Like… I’m literally flying a plane while Sonic surfs on the wing doing finger pistols. Who gets the credit? Sonic. Who gets motion sickness and a face full of bugs? Me.

Sonic: (smirking) Hey, buddy, you've gotta keep up if you don't want to get left behind. Gotta go fast!

Tails: Yeah, yeah, you gotta go fast. But maybe I’d like to go at… normal speed? Not everyone downs four pots of coffee with breakfast.

Therapist: Sonic, do you think you’ve considered Tails’ needs here?

Sonic: Needs? He’s got TWO tails. Plus, he gets all the perks of hanging out with me!  

Tails: (deadpan) Oh yes, thank you, Sonic. Thank you for allowing me to be your unpaid taxi driver and emergency backup generator.  What great fun.

Therapist: Tails, that sounds like resentment.

Tails: I don’t resent him. I just want to be more than “the guy who helicopter-spins until Sonic decides to come back.” Like, we’ve been best friends for thirty years, and I don’t think we’ve ever just… had dinner. No chili dogs. Just… dinner.

Sonic: (shrugs) Chili dogs are dinner. And breakfast.

Therapist: Sonic, relationships — even friendships — require more than shared adrenaline rushes. Have you ever slowed down for Tails?

Sonic: (grins) Slowing down isn’t really my thing. Y'know what happens when I slow down?  The franchise falls off a cliff.  Really, why do they keep trying to make me 3D?  Everybody loves side-scrolling!  

Tails: Look, I'm bummed about the current state of the franchise too.  I mean, when was the last time we put out even a remotely playable game?  Generations?  Unleashed?  

Sonic: (pauses, sheepish) …Okay, ouch. That one stung.

Therapist: Sonic, let’s try something. Imagine your life without Tails.

Sonic: (suddenly panicked) …No plane? No gadgets? No extra lives??

Tails: (smug) Yeah, I thought so.

Therapist: It sounds like you do need each other — but Sonic, you need to acknowledge that dependence. And Tails, you need to assert that your contributions matter.

Sonic: (sighs) Fine. Tails… you’re not just along for the ride. You’re… co-pilot of the ride.

Tails: (squints) That’s… marginally better.

Therapist: Good. That’s progress. Sonic, maybe once in a while… don’t run ahead. Walk with Tails.

Sonic: Walk? Like… with feet? Slowly? What about my reputation? I have to keep up appearances!

Tails: (rolls eyes) Ok, how about this, I'll work on speeding things up, you work on putting out a decent game more than once a decade.

(Session ends with Sonic glaring, Tails smirking, and the therapist scribbling furiously in the case file.)