Zelda & Link – Emotional Labor & Destiny Confusion

Therapist: [looking over clipboard] “So, today we’re focusing on the topic of emotional labor. Link, Zelda — how would you describe your relationship outside of saving the kingdom?”

Link: [opens mouth] “...”

Zelda: “Oh, we’re very close.”

Therapist: “Close as in…?”

Zelda: “Well… I call him whenever the world is in peril, and he comes running. What could be closer than that?”

Link: [Looks at therapist, opens mouth] “...”

Zelda: [laughs] “Oh, Link, I can handle this. You look tired. Anyway, his destiny is to protect Hyrule — it’s literally written on a tapestry — or was it inscribed in an ancient tome?  Anyway, he’s always been happy to do it.”

Therapist: “Zelda, do you ever think about what Link might want when there isn’t an active apocalypse?”

Zelda: “Oh, of course! I let him take breaks between disasters. And he can do whatever he wants during those breaks — as long as he keeps his sword sharpened, his horse saddled, and he is ready for combat at a moments notice.”

Therapist: “That’s… not exactly a break.”

Link: [Nods in agreement]

Zelda: [shrugs] “Well, timing is everything. Also, destiny waits for no one.”

Therapist: “Do either of you know what you are to each other? Friends? Colleagues? Partners?”

Link: [Looks at Zelda, unsure]"..."

Zelda: “He's the most important person in my life!  Without him, Hyrule would be in shambles, under the control of a power-hungry pig-man who rules with an iron fist!  In fact, I seem to remember that it was a couple of times.” [Zelda gives Link an annoyed look]

Link: [Slumps his shoulders, he looks barely able to keep his head up]"..." 

Therapist:  [Looks at Link, then at Zelda] "But Zelda, who is Link to you?  Put aside the heroics, the swords, the prophecies.  Do you have feelings for Link?  Would you like your relationship to be about more than just saving the kingdom over and over?"

Zelda:  [Zelda stares at the therapist, a blank expression on her face]

Therapist:  ...Zelda?

Zelda:  [Continues to stare blankly at the therapist]

Therapist: “Okaaaay...Link, you've been quiet so far, how would you describe your relationship with Zelda?"

Link:  [Link is face down on the floor...sleeping]"Zzzzzzz..."

Therapist:  Well, I think that's enough for this week.  Homework: I want you two to spend one afternoon together doing something mundane. No battles, no questing, no temples.”

Zelda: “Oh, very well, what do you recommend?”

Therapist: “Have a cup of coffee. Maybe see a show.  Talk about literally anything except Hyrule’s destruction.”

Zelda: “Fine. Maybe we can go swimming.  Some rupees sank to the bottom of the lake that Link can get with his lovely metal boots.  Right Link?”

Link:  "Zzzzzzz..."